Forty days.

Counting down. 

The number 40 carries special meaning in the bible.

I am too lazy to write so here's a cut & paste version from the web:

"The number 40 holds particular significance in the Bible and refers to a precise number, not just a long period of time. There are at least ten instances in the Old Testament and New Testament where 40 occurs, either in years or days, e.g. it rained for 40 days and 40 nights, Moses was on the mountain 40 days and 40 nights, the Israelites wandered 40 years, Jesus fasted in the wilderness for 40 days and was seen on the earth for 40 days after His crucifixion.

A 40-something time period, whether days, months, or years is ALWAYS a period of testing, trial, probation, or chastisement (but not judgment) and ends with a period of restoration, revival or renewal."

A period of testing, trial, probation, or chastisement. 

Somewhat true to my situation right now.

In 40 days time, I will step into a whole new level of life. I'll be doing life and sharing a future together with another person. Rejoice.

In fact, I am more looking forward for a change. Yes, CHANGE. *Obama style*

But deep down in my heart, I know this is not what God wants me to expect. I am merely hoping for an escape, rather than a breakthrough. God knows it... and shamefully, I knew it too.

If I were to keep this mindset til the day comes, I shall face great disappointment as true FREEDOM comes from a truly SET FREE HEART.

I was truly moved by a sermon preached by Ps Philip Mantofa during M4J.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23

My heart...

Please withstand the 40 days trial and in the name of Jesus, my heart shall experience restoration, revival and renewal. 

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Just like what I've posted in FB. It has been a crazy week!

Roller coaster ride physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Guess I will not elaborate too much here. 

But I praise God and thank Him for giving me the chance to serve in the Kingdom.

First time playing keyboard with our worship team in such big scale event. 

First time being an English interpreter in such a big scale event.

First time prayed for so many sick people and they actually got healed!

But again, one thing I should remind myself: 

Do not be satisfied with past success. Just like what Ps Philip said:

" I shall die tonight, so that I can have new mercy the next day. So that God can continue to use me in new ways."

Not by my might and power but by God's spirit. 

Another thing that I pray, that God will help me to balance my life.

I have no idea how but I shall be led by the Holy Spirit everyday.

"Di saat ku tak berdaya, kuasaMu yang sempurna."

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Coming back to the subject. 

To my future husband:

I will be united with you, my God given soul mate, in 40 days time. 

It is not about the destination, but the journey that matters. 

I love you very much, because God has first loved us.

I pray that God will protect and lead us through the 40 days of challenging trial.

See you at the altar. :)