Thursday, February 25, 2010

You know you are no longer a little girl...

when mommy don't pay for your new clothes.
when daddy don't pay for the family meal.
when your paycheck comes together with tax forms and bills.

hm...I do miss those times when I saved up hard to buy my first tamagotchi.
baby tamagotchi pet looks something like this...if im not mistaken.


sigh.
24.

Friday, February 12, 2010

A prayer for you.

Oh my God...
What happen to all of you? :(

It kind of pricked me deep when I read about you guys...

I know it's really annoying hearing someone senior saying:
"Ohh... I've been through what you are going through...
Everything will be fine...
You are just being too sensitive.
Young people are always lost...
Relax....yadadadahhh..."

Sometimes, this "been there, done that" attitude is sh*t.

I really don't know what I can do.
And, to some extend, I feel some of your struggles too.

Dear Father,
I know I couldn't love them as much as You do,
but I know You will take care of them just like those times You have brought me through.
I love you guys, and please love yourself and each other as God has first loved you.

Be strong! I am still learning, but we will eventually get there!
By His power of love.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

开始和结尾都不联合,因为写着写着离了题。

我知道我看戏总是比人慢...而且慢很多。
粗俗也要讲一句:这一幕真的西北感动。

如前篇,最近常梦见澳洲。
回到马来西亚,热的冒汗的夜晚开始想念那张淡黄色的厚棉被。
说真的,冬天的夜晚冷得要人命,比起隔壁室友的那张深蓝色超级无敌厚的“暖炉”被,我简直像盖着一层纱布入眠。
可是,在离乡背井,独自想家的夜晚,它是我唯一的温暖。
初时真的搞不懂离开将近一年半后的今天,突然想起那个遥远的国家。
身边的朋友或许知道,刚归国的我是千方百计地想把自己弄回去...天天守着亚航网站,看机票价钱紧张地像看美股。
时间久了,热忱灭了,当初到处预告“I will be back"的大喇叭也尴尬地收起来了。
当你一直犹豫不决的时候,别人就会替你做决定。
愣在一边太久,一清醒时才发现...路铺好了,鞋子也替自己穿上了,终点拟定了。
这一年半,就这样卖给了现实。
成语说:一年半载。多则一年,少则半年。都过去了...

............

友人说:我不像你,一毕业就就业。是我贪玩,还想放荡一年半载...
我说:你以为我想的阿?我够想去玩咯...只是现实和责任太多。
友人:所以我很敬佩你。

屁啦。
(我知道这个友人会读我的部落格,这句粗俗的话纯粹为了表达我心中的极之无奈必折,并不是针对你:p)

说真的我并不敬佩这种人。我最多只能对他说:兄弟,我明白你的感受。

............

那天在小组,组员情绪激动地说着自己遇到的困境。
其实我早前已听说,只是这位姐妹每每在道出问题后,还来不及安慰,就很快地告诉别人自己其实还好,感谢神...
那天她一轮嘴地说了许多的...我看着她,突然打断问了一句:你是不是很不快乐?
“我很不快乐...”泪水如泉涌。
第一次,她坦诚面对自己的感受。
在为她祷告的时候,我也悄悄对上帝说:我也不是很快乐。

...........

近来生活开始越来越忙碌。
我很努力地用正面的角度去看待每一件事。
我开始学习敞开心,抛开先入为主的思想,大力拥抱眼前的一切。
我很羡慕身边的他,即使陷入什么境况,他都能对生命抱着“我一定能做到”的心态。
其实自怜自哀是很悲的事情,很讨厌面子书上那些消极又自怜又无奈又毫无盼望的留言。
每个人都有自己的挣扎,不需要把自己的软弱到处宣扬。
所以我就选择写在这种没什么人看,看了也没什么人记得,记得也没什么人讲的地方。
我很聪明哩?

.............

我只是想说...
不要剥夺我爱你的快乐。

...............

原谅我,纳闷太久会胸口郁闷,郁闷太久可能引发心血管疾病。

虽然一切皆虚空,都捕风,传道人依然在最后一章告诉人是有盼望的。

赠宁恩:
万事互相效力,叫爱神的人得益处。
你是有福的。



众人皆知我走的是华丽的低调路线,不需留言,见面不需提起。偶尔在祷告中记念我就可以了。
哇噻!够力串!呵呵~

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Memories.

I woke up in my bed..covered in a yellow quilt blanket. The weather was very cold...
As usual I snuggled with my little pillow, refused to rise...
Then I saw her in a thick blue blanket, all covered up but I know she's ignoring her snoozing alarm too.
We were both waiting for each other to initiate the "rise & shine" routine... and I am always the one who gave up.
Slipped in my blue slippers, picked up my toiletries and washed myself up with streams of freezing cold water.
Went back to the room, she's still in her bed and the house was still quiet.
Pulled myself to the kitchen, toasted some bread taken from the freezer.
Made myself a bowl of cereals soaked in organic soy milk.
Munched down my breakie in front of the new TV...and the new rug.
She's finally up when I was washing up the plates, and sometimes, he'll be awake and coming down from the stairs, bringing his laptop with him for sure.
He'll plug in his laptop and Planetshakers will be playing from it in no time.
Pan was heated, pancake with honey was serve.
She'll make her cup of Milo of course.
We'll be sitting around the dining table, telling each other about our dreams last night.

Ming, Ryan... I miss 18 Marshall Av, Clayton, Melbourne Victoria.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Jo23ph

"Do guys believe in sweet 16? Happy Birthday...and have a sweet 16 :)"
This was my first birthday wish to you, when you were 16.

You are 23 now.
8 years down the road, I am truly blessed.
Love you.